Ten on Monday

1. We made it through our first month of residency! Woo hoo! Ryan did Cardiology last month and I think he mostly enjoyed it. He spent the first week sitting me down for a few minutes to "teach" me something he was learning so that it would help him really get it down. He has been writing in his personal journal every night after work and I'm proud of him for keeping a thorough record of his thoughts and feelings now that he's doing really important things. He has shared some very sweet, spiritual experiences he has had listening to and following the voice of the Spirit when it comes to his patients, and I'm so impressed by him. He truly feels like he is doing what the Lord asks of him, and helping patients in more ways than just diagnosing and giving medicine.

2. Things at home have been up and down. Some hours of the day I feel like super-mom and I even went one entire day this month without raising my voice or getting angry with Grace! But it never lasts. I know that's probably typical for most moms, but I get frustrated with myself when I can't just be the best mom I can/want to be. I get so discouraged and tired and frustrated and tired and overworked... I said "tired" twice. But that's the truth. Sometimes by dinner time, my voice and throat actually hurts from TALKING constantly to Grace, because she's constantly talking and wants me to respond. It just gets tiring. The other issue we're dealing with is that a lot of the times that Ryan is home for an hour or two in the evenings (or before heading to his next nightshift), we just end up frustrated with each other and wasting that precious time. I carry a lot of bad attitude about the schedule and being a single-mom and he resents that I'm not completely supportive and happy. It's just a downward spiral. We are working on it, and not everyday is like that, but it's just rough. That's the honest truth... this is so hard.

3. I am with the kids, by myself, from 7am (sometimes earlier with Logan) until they go to bed at 7:30pm. On night shift days, it means Ryan goes to work at 4pm, gets home at 8am, and sleeps until 3pm... just to wake up and head back to work. Some of the "normal" nights Ryan is home in time to see Grace for 5 minutes right before bed, and I breath a little sigh of relief for my children's sake that they got to see their dad that day. It breaks my heart a little, although I know they're so young that they won't remember this part of his career training. Ryan was going into work at 5:45am, but starting tomorrow he gets up at 3:45 to leave the house by 4:30. Yuck! That is so early. He was in bed tonight at 8pm. :(

4. Tonight I'm especially feeling sorry for myself because for days I've been looking forward to going out with some girls to Panera Bread at 7. But when Ryan got home just before 6, and told me he needed to eat, study a little, and go to bed by 8, I knew our original plan of having him get kids bathed and put in bed was not happening. Plus if Logan woke up while I wasn't here, and Ryan was trying to sleep, then I would feel super guilty. I could have taken Logan with me of course, but... I just gave up and decided I'd stay home and have a small pity party. haha. Fun right? I'll be better in the morning. Tonight I'm just annoyed by this schedule and what it does to me. You would think that after having Ryan home for the weekend (for the first time in a month), I would be ready to tackle a new month of a crappy schedule. But I think it just makes me feel even worse somehow. Ok I'm done venting about it.

5. We have a friend (Trevor Call) from our Henderson ward staying with us for most of August. He is here to do an audition rotation in Orthopedics at Doctor's Hospital. We're happy to be able to help him with a place to stay! He's just one year behind Ryan, so he'll be applying to residencies this fall and going through the match next spring. He is using our extra bedroom upstairs while Logan sleeps in our room with us. Grace is so funny with Trevor here... he'll have his door open while he studies and Grace will take her toys in there and play. I keep getting after her and telling her not to bug him, but I'll still see a little tea party set up on his desk sometimes. haha. He's so nice and says it's fine.

The guest room.

6. Speaking of Grace... she has been fully potty trained (daytime training, at least) for over a month now, but has all of a sudden gone back to square one this last week. She's probably had 10-20 accidents in the last several days! It's getting ridiculous! It's like she has forgotten how to poop on the toilet, and has started to hold in her pee and only let out a tiny bit at a time ... meaning she goes pee like 4 times in an hour, and still manages to has accidents in between. I know she's holding it in, like a game or something. I keep telling her to sit and let it ALL OUT but she doesn't listen to me half the time. haha Sorry if that's too much information for you. I'm just so frustrated! I've decided the only thing to do is spend the next few days as if they were those first few days of training. We'll just stay inside and together at all times. Maybe start doing rewards again instead of getting angry when she has accidents.

7. Ryan's 29th birthday was on saturday. We were able to FINALLY go out on that date that didn't happen a month ago because of crazy weather! Thank you to Ben and Amanda for watching the kids.  And dealing with Grace's accidents. :( We went up to Easton Mall (a big outdoor and indoor mall... which was a lot like Town Square in Las Vegas) to walk around, window shop and go to dinner. We ended up eating at bd's Mongolian Barbecue which was so good! Ryan had been there on his mission and loved it, and I really liked it too. And on our way back to the car we of course had to stop at Graeter's to get ice cream cones. It was a perfect date. On sunday night we had our next door neighbors (the Browns), Ben and Amanda, and of course Trevor for cake and ice cream. I made Chocolate Chip Cake again and it was good!

8. We switched the bathroom decor around so our master bathroom is grey and yellow, which now matches our bedroom color theme as well. The upstairs one is now the purple and white (admittedly a little old-womanish, but I like it!). When Trevor heads home, we'll turn that little room officially into Logan's room. I was so sure I could make it work to have both kids in the big room, but I've chickened out. Logan is still so noisy at night and isn't sleeping as well as Grace. I'm not willing to risk having Grace sleep less just to have an open spare room. So... we'll put the toys into Grace's room and have the loft area be the office, with Logan in his own room. Maybe when he's older we can put them together.

9. My goal this week is to make a few batches of cookies and take them around to my neighbors! I have met the people on either side of us, but nobody across the street or any further than next-door. I have been trying to keep an eye out for young kids playing in the front yards so I could find some other young mommies to befriend, but so far haven't had any luck. I know there are lots of kids around, but not many play outside in their front yards ... except for the kids than are 10 years old and up. So that's my goal!

10. My other goal right now is to try and be more positive. I need to live in the NOW and quit looking forward to this or that, thinking that life will be easier in a few weeks, or during a different block, or on Ryan's week off, or in 3 years when he's done with residency, etc. I am really struggling enjoying each day for what it offers and not feeling resentful. I know it's a process... I will get used to it and stop thinking Ryan will be around for things. I will get it, and I am praying hard that I will have the ability and help from Heavenly Father to "enjoy life - not just endure it", as Pres. Hinckley said.

 These two moments I caught on camera make me smile. :)

Thanks for listening to my pity party. Now on to a new day and being happier!

Logan: 6 months old

Six whole months? Half of a year?! I cannot believe how fast time is flying. I wish this little guy would slow down. I swear he is moving and growing way faster than he should be. It makes me a little sad. But it sure is fun to be at this stage! 6-9ish months is definitely my favorite baby age.

His photo shoot this month...

Nicknames: Logan Boy (most common), Handsome, Bud, Mister.
Weight: 19 lbs 14 oz - 90th%
Height: 27 inches
Head circ: 17.75 inches 84th%
Such a BIG BOY! Just for fun, and to compare, Grace at this age was only 15 lbs 13 oz, 25.75 inches long, and head 17 inches.

Look at all that chub! I don't want to forget the awesome fat rolls on his knee caps.

Here are some things I want to remember about Logan at this stage:
-loves to grab and chomp on his toes

-is officially sitting up (usually needs the boppy or someone behind him incase he tips over, but he's really good at balancing himself most of the time)
-wants to put everything in his mouth
-likes to bat at/hit things that are near him, or scratch (just learning the feel of things)
-really quick and grabby, especially if it's my plate during a meal, or whatever is in front of him while sitting in his high chair.
-is hungry all the time! He nurses every 3 hours (6 times a day) but often doesn't seem satisfied with just that. He is now eating 1-2 meals a day as well, with a big meal right before bed around 7:30pm. He will eat about 2oz of baby food (or a bowl of oatmeal) and 1/3 of a banana in a typical sitting. That's a lot for a brand new eater!

I have been making his food from our zucchini and yellow squash from the garden, and from baking sweet potatoes myself (which he loves). It's so much easier and cheaper to do it this way! I should have done it with Grace.

-his favorite person is his sister... not me. ;) He even puts up with her smothering him when he's on the floor or when she sticks her fingers, hands, arms, nose, cheek, etc into his mouth.

-has NOT been a good sleeper this last month... but this week he seems to sleep from 8pm to 6:50am (on the dot every morning) with only a dream feed at 10pm during that time. I hope he starts learning to sleep better at night soon! I'm exhausted.
-takes 3 solid naps during the day (often 2-3 hours long)
-sleep a lot better when he's on his tummy, which we pretty much have him do exclusively now
-can sleep practically anywhere, which is SUCH a blessing. He has been moved around so much and will nap wherever is easier for me so I think he just takes what he can get! (my bedroom, his crib, the packnplay, carseat, arms during church)

-gives us lots of gummy smiles with those stinkin' cute, squinty eyes!

-puts his own binkie back in his mouth by himself! Such a neat trick to know how to do so young! It will take him a few tries to get it going the right direction, but he concentrates really hard on it and makes it happen.
-throws his body straight backwards and goes rigid when he's over-tired or frustrated with me.
-makes lots of strange noises, but his most recent favorite is literally to growl. In the past months I have been told he sounds like a hyena and a pterodactyl.
-still has quite the flat spot on the back of his head. :( Both our old doctor in Nevada and our new one here say they're not worried. He isn't on his back for too long each day, I swear... and they assure me that since the plates in his head are still moving, it will solve itself. I sure hope so! The shape of his head is so sad looking.

We love this nearly-20-pound, chubbalicious little man! He makes us so happy, and tired, truth-be-told, but we're so grateful to have him in our home. I don't know what Grace would do without him - they're going to be great friends as they continue to grow up together. Let's just hope that he sleeps through the night more often and stops growing up so fast! :)

Nana comes to town

Ryan and I have moved 5 times in our 6 years of marriage, and my parents have helped us with every single one. However, the difference with this cross-country move was that my mom wasn't on this end of things helping me move in and get set up here. I was sad not to have her help and insight, and her ability to get projects done in no time. I admit that I'm an emotional and sentimental girl... and I've been feeling like my new home here just isn't complete without my mommy and daddy to come see it! Thank goodness I didn't have to wait too long, though, because my mom came out for a week visit and I loved having her here!

She flew in last wednesday evening, and I her and my brother's family over for dinner. I selfishly wanted her to see our place right away even though she was spending the first few nights at Ben's house. :) I made Ham Sliders (because she's obsessed with swiss cheese) and they were yummy! 

Cute Ava

On thursday, Amanda, my mom, and the kids and I went to Slate Run farm and metro park. The kids loved running around together, and especially enjoyed watering the vegetable garden with buckets that we filled up at the pump. They thought that was really neat. The park just down the road from the farm is so fun and a really huge, green area! Tons of trees and a pond... Sometimes I have to pinch myself when I see how beautiful it is... but it's only because I'm comparing it to the sad desert I knew before this. ;)

Friday was the day we had planned to go to the zoo, but the weather men kept saying how stormy it would be. It ended up not being stormy, so that was a bummer... because we didn't ever get to the zoo while my mom was here. Boo. While my mom hung out with Amanda and her kids, I was able to have a couple Henderson friends (Erica Karren and Marci Mortenson and all their boys) over to play for the morning!! 

Their husbands are doing residencies in Dayton (1.5 hours southwest of us) and they both had a training session at the hospital here for the morning. So the ladies and kids came with them and played at our house for a few hours. It was so nice having them and being able to catch up. I don't know about them, but I felt like I needed a little social familiarity after missing all my close friends these last few months.

That evening Amanda and I found babysitters for our kids so we could go out as adults! Ben's birthday is July 10th and Ryan's is the 28th (both turning 29), so we celebrated their birthdays by going to the Cheesecake Factory. It's almost a 30 minute drive, but well worth it, and the men were able to meet us there straight from work. Thank you Mom for dinner AND cheesecake!! So yummy. We were all beyond stuffed by the end of the night. :) After our kids were all in bed, Ben and Ryan watched a man movie at our house while I went to play games and have girl talk with the women-folk at Amanda's. I love living so close together!!

As you may know, the saturday tradition for my parents is to go out for a burger for lunch. We recommended a place we had tried recently (Inferno Burger) and I think it was a hit with everyone! They really do have awesome burgers there, which is such a relief since I'm so far away from TonyBurger and Smashburger! haha. Ryan was able to come since he didn't work until 4pm that evening, so it was nice to have him around for a bit too!

In the afternoon we played over at Ben's in their backyard and inside with play dough. The kids were enjoying all the fun things my mom was creating: a pig, snowman, baby in a basket, etc. :) She's so fun.

Logan's first time in a swing and he loved it!

My mom moved into our house saturday evening, and Ryan worked through the night. I was glad to have my mom's help getting kids ready on sunday since Ryan was sleeping. That evening, for dinner, we celebrated the guys' birthdays... again... and did actual birthday cake for them. The meal itself was amazing though, with grilled chicken, basil and avocado pasta, rolls, and an incredible chocolate cake my mom made! Seriously amazing, and so easy. If you want the recipe, let me know. 

I can't exactly remember monday... we must have just hung out and let the kids play inside because it was so hot. Oh and it was the last time we were able to have everybody together for dinner so Amanda and I made pizza (which included toppings from our own garden) and we enjoyed the chance to be together. Why is it that the only activities I remember this last week involved eating? haha! I guess it's easy to remember good food, right? :)

On tuesday, we had this great idea to take the kids to the Scioto Mile fountain in downtown Columbus, which apparently is awesome. Amanda even checked online the night before to make sure of the hours of operation. We drove there (25 minute drive) and it was BROKEN! They were in the process of repairing it. Can you believe that?! We joke a lot in my family that most things I try to plan seem to fall through, or that I'm bad luck and bring bad weather with me, or droughts (hence the current drought in Ohio), etc. And this is just another one of those experiences to add to my list. :( So annoying. The kids were way bummed, and frankly so was I. We ended up back at my house with our pool and sprinkler... but it just wasn't nearly as much fun. 

Our next door neighbors (the only ward members in our area) also came and Grace really likes sweet Anne who is just a little older than her. 

After naps we met up at Target to walk around... because let's face it, we all love walking around that store! Even Grace asks to go there.

On wednesday morning (yesterday), we took the kids to the little Pickerington library to let them do puzzles, play in the activity area, and read books. Then we went to Amanda's to eat lunch and take some pictures. Isn't Amanda's playroom decor so cute?! Somebody please "pin" this. hehe. It was a perfect place to get some cute photos with Nana!

The one below is too cute not to share... Grace's "lean" and Ava's hand in front of Logan's face. I love it!

I drove my mom to the airport after naps yesterday, and that was quite the adventure at first. We did finally make it, AND I got myself home again... which is a big deal because I am not one to feel comfortable driving long distances in a new city with confusing freeways, etc. 

We had such a great week with my mom in town! It was a new experience "sharing" her with my brother's family, but it worked out well being able to spend mornings and afternoons mostly together and split up the nights. I still feel bad that the zoo and the fountain outings didn't pan out, and I know my mom's torn meniscus was no fun for her, but we still made the most of it! The kids especially loved having "Nana" around. Grace cried as we pulled away from the airport and she realized she couldn't go with Nana. She also said to me during lunch today (out of the blue) "I miss Nana". :( We miss love you, mom, and hope to see you again really soon!! And you too, Dad.

Happy Birthday, America!

One thing that is so awesome about living here in Ohio is that everything on this side of the country has a great history. Cemeteries and towns and businesses are 200+ years old... where in the west, most things are not. It's neat to be around so much American history, and know that just several hours of driving east would get us to the nation's capital and other great places! We'll be sure to start checking those sites off our list sometime soon.

On the fourth of July (which was on a wednesday this year), Ryan unfortunately had to work from 6am to 6:30pm. But I still wanted to do some fun things with the kids to celebrate the holiday. For breakfast I made Grace and I some red and blue waffles with sliced bananas ... nothing super exciting, but Grace thought it was!

We also made sure to be dressed in the right colors, of course.

At 3:30, we went to our new friends' house, the Storts. They invited us and the Goates over for a barbecue and to let the kids play in their awesome blow-up pool and slide. So fun! The food was awesome and Grace had a great time cooling off with the kids. (for the record, it was EXTREMELY hot that day at 100+)

The babies. All born within a month of each other.

At 6pm the little town of Pickerington held their annual 4th of July parade just up the street from the Storts' house, so we all walked up and found a spot. It was neat ... but SO SO SO hot. Did I already say that?? We were pretty miserable and the poor babies were struggling in the heat.

The Storts family.

Goates Family.

This was Grace's expression when she saw the huge firetruck in the parade. I love it!

We didn't even last through the whole parade, because we were all miserable and all the kids were crying. Ryan had just gotten home and was waiting for us to do some fireworks. But the kids and I were feeling so yucky that all I wanted to do was run through the sprinklers to cool us all off. So we did just that! First time Grace has actually done it without screaming and running away. (She hates sprinklers and fountains... but I'm trying to break her of that!) It was actually a lot of fun for being so spur of the moment!

After the kids were bathed, we decided to keep them up a little longer to do some sparklers and smoke bombs. I couldn't find any REAL fireworks for us, but we still enjoyed the little bit that we did. What's the 4th of July without sparklers?!

It was a fun holiday, even though it was miserably hot. haha. But I'm grateful for our freedoms and for this great country. We are so blessed to be Americans!